


Test of Truth

by Doxx



Series: Sweet Little Lies [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Remus being Remus, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Truth Spells, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, forced truth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27578272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doxx/pseuds/Doxx
Summary: Janus and Logan continue their deep and intellectual discussions on the nature of lies, but due to a last minute relocation, have to hold it in the Lightside of the mindscape. With an audience of the Lights, Janus soon finds his motives once again under suspicion, so he is forced to take drastic action to try and prove he has no malicious intent.Reading the previous parts is recommended
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sweet Little Lies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972297
Comments: 18
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story did not so much run away from me, but rather leap into a car and rev off into the distance at speed. Not sure how many chapters it will take for me to finish, but I do have the plot all mapped out.  
>  Some angst, a lot of drama, and Logan and Janus finally figure out that their friendship has potential for so much more. Happy endings all round.   
>  Slightly unsympathetic Patton and unsympathetic Roman, but they do reach better understanding eventually. Remus is Remus, and so there is some offensive language present.  
>  Be braced to learn more than you ever wanted to about slime molds.

Janus and Logan continued to meet up and chat, much to the frequent and vocal objections of Roman. For sake of transparency, Janus would announce the time and place that Logan would be visiting, so that if something were to transpire, the blame would be easy to allocate.

His preparations did little to subside Roman's distrust.

Remus, however, had been keen to welcome the Lightside in for visits, and had even crafted a new cup for Logan.

Angular, and with a square handle, in a colour that matched Logan's tie, but upon it read the words 'This is not poison!' in the same hue of Janus's yellow trim. They had laughed together, sharing in the joke, and Logan had decided that Remus needed to learn about slime molds as his way of showing gratitude.

Remus was fascinated, the slimy and strange nature of the eukaryotic organisms appealing to his aesthetics. Janus worried that he was going to find 'surprises' in the bathroom... or worse, the kitchen as a result. He did, however, recognise that Remus and Logan were each making efforts to get along with the other, and that they genuinely seemed to enjoy the shared company.

As the conversation shifted, and delved into deeper discussions, Remus took the hint and left, declaring that it was too boring for him.

Janus appreciated that he got to spend some time alone with Logan.

It did mean he had to negotiate with the other residents of the Darkside for exclusive use of the common area, but it was fairly easy to come to agreeable compromise. The various lesser Aspects and Attributes such as Craving, Scorn and Reservation, mostly still in flux and not quite settled into personality tended to be shy. The fully developed other Sides, such as Wrath and Recovery, yet to make themselves know, purposefully kept distance from the Light Sides, waiting till they were ready to reveal themselves. They were happy to stay in the shadows and out of the way. Those that might have caused problems were locked away, for the good of Thomas (though Janus found he had been checking the locks a little more frequently, so that his guest's safety was assured).

In return for being able to commandeer the common space on occasion, Janus had to do more chores to make up, but that was a reasonable payment for his and Logan's privacy. 

Their discussions, which could range in topic from age-old philosophical questions, to scrutinising the latest TV show that Thomas had watched, and all things in between, were very much the highlight of Janus's week. He found himself relaxing in Logan's company, and his laughter was rarely put on or forced. He also had admiration for Logan's keen intellect, and would often spend his free time researching interesting subjects that thought Logan might like to talk about.

Things were going well, until one day with a wide grin that Janus knew from experience meant he ought to be on guard, Remus had asked a favour. 

Janus had braced himself, but given that Remus had saved Janus's hide when Roman took into his head to attack him (and been his companion through years of dwelling in the Dark), Janus knew he was very unlikely to refuse. 

So it was, that for the next week, the common space of the Darkside was... wet.

Remus had decided that he wanted to run slime mold races, and that a damp environment would speed up the ever-so-slow process (caffeine, he had found disappointedly, had adverse effect on the molds). Logan, Janus thought, would be pleased to see that his idea had inspired such experiments, and indeed, Remus seemed delighted at the gungy forms making their way across the walls, but Janus found that he could not tolerate the resulting humidity, the smell of the various foodstuffs smeared across the walls to 'feed' the things, nor the resulting cacophony of cheers, threats, intimidation tactics and calls for the slime molds to cannibalise the competition (Goad had taken to joining in with shouting at the slime covered surfaces, much to Remus's glee and Janus's despair). 

So, with a weight of trepidation, Janus headed over to the Lightside as an alternative venue for his and Logan's scheduled meetup. One that was not quite so noisy or ... moist...

It actually, he lied to himself, worked out rather well. Perhaps an excuse to visit the Lightside might allay the fears of Logan's other friends that he was somehow corrupting their logical side. 

He regretted it almost the moment he walked through, and found there to be an entourage surrounding Logan.

Logan looked just as pleased about the situation as he was.

He gestured to some chairs that had been set up, his expression tight and his posture tense.

With a sigh, Janus sat down, and found Patton immediately had come up too close.

“Do you want some snacks? I can make cookies!”

Janus looked to Logan for guidance on how to handle Morality, abdicating to Logic's superior experience. 

Logan looked at Patton, and Roman who loomed by the door, and then turned to make eye contact with Virgil, sat behind the sofa in the corner.

“Go away. Find something else to do other than watch over me!”

It was clear, and succinct, and reasonable. 

It was not heeded.

Patton continued to pretend to be making cookies that no-one had asked for, and Virgil remained watchful from his crouch against the wall. Roman paced, his eye on Janus most the time and making him feel defensive, even though he had done no wrong.

“This is wonderful.” Janus remarked sarcastically.

“Agreed.” 

Trying to make the best of a bad situation, Logan brought over a pot of tea, and served himself and Janus a cup. The crockery was plain, and matched, and Janus felt a pang for Remus's creative flare. He did note, however, that Logan had only brought two cups, making it clear the others were not welcome.

Janus cast his eye over the room, catching Pattons'. Patton jerked his head down, as if he had not been watching. Roman, made no effort to disguise the fact he was staring. 

“Are they always so invasive?”

“Usually not! They mostly ignore me.” Logan said with a scowl.

“Lucky me then, getting such special treatment.”

Janus forced a light laugh, and tried to focus on Logan. He thought that perhaps slime covered walls and air so damp he could feel it against his skin might not have been so bad after all...

He made an attempt to salvage their meeting.

“I had a notion, and I would value your thoughts.” Janus drew a breath, and settled into the chair. He did not bother with pleasantries (though he had a soft spot for the lies people habitually started conversations with) nor preamble. Logan did not care for such things, and it meant they could get right to a subject of more substance straight away. “I was considering data, and facts, and how they might interact when utilised with more... unscrupulous intentions.”

He could have picked a more neutral topic, given that he was being observed, but he and Logan had been focusing on the nature of lies and deceit, and it seemed insincere not to continue in that vein. 

The irony that he was being true to what their conversations usually entailed, by speaking of lies, was not lost on him.

Logan leaned in, interested.

“A fact is a truth, and data is accurate representation of a piece of information. So of course, data can be used to back up a point of view or argument,” Janus continued, “but through selective presentation of the 'true' facts, it is easy to trick someone into drawing wrong conclusions.”

“Correct. It is termed 'paltering'. It is the practise of telling a truth with intent to mislead. For example, if asked 'Did you wake up early like you said you would?' you could reply 'I set my alarm for seven-am', which would misdirect from the actuality that you then silenced it and slept in till ten. You would have obfuscated the truth with a truth. ”

Janus smiled warmly, “You are familiar with the concept. How tiresome.”

Logan chuckled softly, to show he took no offence at Janus's lie.

“Would you then, consider the fact provided false, through its misrepresentation?”

As Logan pondered his reply, Janus took the opportunity to sip from his cup. He could still feel eyes on him, uncomfortable, but at least no-one was disrupting the discussion. Or waving swords in his direction.

“The fact remains true.” Logan said, finally, “but falsely presented. It would be the difference between data, which is raw and unbiased, and information, which is the assembly of data into useful intel, taking into account other factors that might have impact on how the data might interact with the wider world beyond its singular point of accuracy. Someone might have faulty information, drawn from erroneous conclusions, but that does not change the data was initially correct.”

Janus nodded, “ I disagree.”

By now he did not have to fret that Logan would misunderstand him, and he actually took some pride in that their conversation had evolved to such a level that it was almost like they were conversing in secret code. Janus smirked into his cup, wondering how confused the others might be, listening to two who seemed at such odds with each other when in fact, they agreed.

Logan's eyes lit up, as a thought occurred to him. He tipped his head to one side, “Counter question, could you tell the truth through nothing but lies?”

Janus considered, excited to be challenged on such an intellectual level. He was part-way through crafting a statement to prove or disprove Logan's query when from where Roman was standing, there was a sudden thud.

Roman, stamping down his boot, pointed an accusatory finger at Janus. 

“This is all trying to warp Logan's mind!” he interrupted angrily. 

Janus folded his arms, “I do so enjoy having to repeat myself over and over. We are talking. No-one is trying to warp anyone!”

“Liar!” Roman hissed, and Janus narrowed his eyes. 

“Absolutely right, Roman, very astute. I am Deceit, therefore it must follow that my sole function is to be dishonest.”

He glanced around, and saw that Virgil had stood up, watching with worried expression, and Patton had put down the bowl of what he assumed to be cookie mix. He was about to use Virgil as an example that a side is more than their aspect, but then thought better of it. Vigil did not need additional reasons to be annoyed with him.

He instead opened a hand and gestured to Logan. 

“Logic. Except, that is not quite right, is it? Logan is _more_ than logic. He is reason, and knowledge, and learning and intellect. It would be a grave disservice to discount his other attributes in reducing him to only 'Logic'.”  
“So yes. I deceive, and I do not expect you to dismiss that. But perhaps you might be able to grant me just a little more agency than casting me as some wicked villain with nothing but mischief on my mind.”

“But... “ Patton said, “It _is_ your name... And lying is... not good.”

Janus clenched his hands, “Were you not listening? A lie can take many forms, and is not as simple as being branded good, evil or inherently terrible. The _intent_ is the key, and whether you believe me or not, I have good intentions. Good intentions that I happen to bring about through lying. I can offer a lie to help preserve someone's feelings, or aid a friend in a sticky social situation. I can use turns of speech to better express myself! 'I simply cannot wait for dinner!” well I can, and so that statement is inaccurate, or, to put it bluntly, a lie.”

He turned in the chair to face Patton. His expression shifted to one that was bright, and cheerful.

“I used to have a job at a calender factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”

Patton's eyes widened, covering his mouth to hide his laughter at the joke.

“That never happened. It was, surprise surprise, a lie!”

He sighed, and coaxed himself to relax. 

“Lies are more than 'bad'. Through our talks, which you are so delightfully interrupting, I am broadening myself and Logan's range of understanding on the subject. You could benefit from what we'd learnt too... if you cared to listen.”

Roman scowled, “Now you are trying to tempt all of us to lie more!” 

Janus stayed very still. He purposefully kept his manner passive, but that did not mean he would gentle his words, not any more. He knew his wit was sharp, and while Roman threw out brazen accusations, he was done trying to defend himself. It was time to take up the offensive and retaliate.

“Fine. You caught me. This is all a master scheme of mine, that you have so very cleverly spotted. Tell me, since you seem to know my motives better than I, what do you think my grand plan actually entails...?”

“You.. you want people to lie more...” Roman said, suddenly unsure.

“Ah yes. Because encouraging you to lie would make you wicked, since only wicked Sides would ever lie.”

Confounded, Roman looked to Patton for support, not quite sure what to make of Janus's seeming confession. Patton shrugged, equally as lost.

Logan looked up, suddenly. He glanced at Janus, who lift a brow in his direction, inviting contribution. 

“The circular logic fallacy.” he said softly. Janus nodded, pleased that Logan had caught on so quickly. 

“And of course because I am a DarkSide, I must be all manner of evil. No redeeming features, and certainly not one to ever have a good point to bring to the table.” Janus had stood up, and was pacing dramatically, commanding the room like a monologuing villain. His cape fluttered obediently behind him, as if he was dragging shadows in his wake.

“Ad hominem.”

Virgil turned to look at Logan, who did not seem the least bit upset, and instead was saying strange things. He walked closer to the logical side, concerned.

Janus pressed on, “After all, we DarkSides have been dismissed as long as I can recall. There must be good reason for it, so why change things now?”

“Appeal to tradition...”

Virgil tapped Logan on the arm, eyes wide with worry. “Logan. What's going on? What are you saying?”

“I am identifying the logical fallacies that Janus is purposefully utilising to discredit his statements against himself and his intentions.” Logan smiled brightly as he realised, “He is using lies to tell the truth!” 

Janus stopped in his step, and smiled, bowing towards Logan in recognition. 

Everyone else looked confounded.

Logan launched into explanation, “Logical fallacies are methods that tilt facts to present them as the truth, but when analysed the logic is often revealed to be flawed. To use Janus's example, the appeal to tradition fallacy depends on the mistaken belief that just because something has always been done a certain way, it must be the right way to do things. That is plainly not true, for instance, we as a society abolished slavery, even though it was held as wide-spread practice for many years. We disproved that just because something was traditional it was always right.”

“I don't understand...” said Patton.

“I do.” Roman growled darkly, “ _Logical_ facilities. He is trying to turn Logan into a DarkSide!”

Janus sighed, his shoulders slumping. He looked to Roman sadly. 

“I give up. There seems to be no way to convince you, and I tire of trying.”

“Well...if you told the truth more often, it'd be easier for us to trust in what you say...” Patton suggested.

Logan was about to interject, when Virgil scoffed loudly. 

“Impossible. Deception is too deeply embedded in his nature. Like just then, even when he is trying to tell the truth, he has to do it through manipulation and dishonesty.”

Janus drew in a long breath, and stared at Virgil, jaw tight. Outnumbered, and apparently in the wrong no matter what he said or did, he reached the end of his patience for playing the villain. Slowly, he took off one yellow glove, and then the other. He folded them neatly, and placed them in a pocket.

“Very well.” he said, his tone clipped, “I shall vow to not lie, for the course of a full day.” He lifted one hand up, as if making an oath. 

Surprised expressions surrounded him, save for Logan who looked worried. Janus then smirked.   
“However, if I cannot speak anything but truth... then too shall all of you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“However, if I cannot speak anything but truth... then too shall all of you.”

Virgil started to shout for him to stop, but Janus quickly took one open flat palm, and slammed the edge of it against his other in a chopping motion.

Everyone stilled, and Janus lowered his hands anticlimactically.

There was a moment of stillness, as if everyone was waiting for something to happen, broken by Virgil putting his head in his hands and muttering, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no” in a panicked mantra.

With a shout, Roman spun round to glare at the DarkSide, “What have you done?!” 

“Something petty and spiteful.” Janus admitted honestly. His jaw tightened as he spoke, with no comforting lies available to him to soften his words, or mask his intentions behind false pretence.

“He's turned off deceit!” Virgil explained, his voice quickened, “You remember how when I 'ducked out'--”

“Quack.” added Patton, almost by instinct.

“--and it meant that Thomas didn't feel anxious any more? Well Janus can do that too, he can 'turn off' the ability to lie.”

“Thomas cannot lie?” Logan questioned, his brow furrowed further.

Janus brought a hand to his chest, shocked. “No! I would never jeopardise the Host!”

Logan relaxed somewhat, believing him. He then looked about, willing his fellows to have heard that Janus meant no harm to Thomas, to at least had that as a unifying factor. They were too preoccupied with looking towards Janus with suspicion.

“But it will affect all of you. Myself included.” Janus clarified.

Patton cheered, and smiled. “What's so bad about having to tell the truth?” he mused aloud, as he made his way from the kitchen, the cookie mix left abandoned.

Virgil was rocking back and forth, and startling as Patton approached.

“It's bad, very bad. Now there is no hiding the bigger things that cause me to worry, like climate change and species extinction and global strife and war and corruption... I can't deny all the things to be anxious about any more... I see it _all_. There's so much, too much!” 

Janus opened his mouth but could not find adequate words. He winced as he watched Virgil curl in on himself, hugging his knees and hiding his face.

He walked over, and tipped his head. “I did not consider this aspect of enforcing honesty. I am sorry.”

He cast out his arm, and a large and heavy object appeared, which he clutched in his hands, imbuing it with power. It glowed slightly. He offered the weighted blanket to Virgil.

“Suspicious...” Virgil said, not reaching for the item.

“It was grievous oversight on my part to not acknowledge that you especially would have difficulty with absolute truth. Here. I cannot undo the vow, it will last 24 hours, but this will shield you somewhat, and sooth against all the terrible things happening all the time to allow you to think and function.”

Reluctant, but hopeful for something to ease his current state, Virgil took the blanket and wrapped it over his shoulders. He blinked, once, twice, and nodded.

“It is heavy.”

With a shrug, Janus smiled sadly, “So is carrying the weight of the woes of the world upon your shoulders. No-one can last under such pressure... but the blanket will help.”

He turned to the collected Sides, and offered explanation. “Too much truth is overwhelming, for Virgil more than most. When active as Deceit, I put a damper on some of the harsher realities, and lessen their impact. When I cannot mask the truth, there is no respite from thinking of all that is wrong in the world.”

He flexed his hands, missing his gloves already, and moved back to his chair and sat down.

“However, you have me, open and honest as I will ever be. With some trepidation, I submit myself for questioning that you might believe my responses.”

Roman was first, “Are you planning something?”

“Yes. Many things in fact. I am thinking of what might be interesting subject for myself and Logan's next discussion, and I am formulating how I might continue to see Logan even if you decide that we should not meet again. I have a long standing plan to enable Remus to be allowed to cook in the kitchen unaccompanied, though progress with this has been hampered by his 'creative' approach to flavour combinations, and the less said about his habit of putting metal into the microwave the better. I am planning to research tea brewing times to hopefully improve flavour, and I am almost constantly occupied with how to appear less 'villainous' without forsaking my purpose. Shall I go on?”

The prince drew a tense breath, “Are you planning anything _bad_?”

“It very much depends on your viewpoint of 'bad'. It is a terribly unquantifiable term. It is bad to cut skin, yet sometimes surgery is needed. It depends on circumstances. A better question might be 'do you plan anything that would harm Thomas?'”

Roman scowled, “Do you plan to harm Thomas?”

“No.”

“Are you trying to turn Logan into a DarkSide?”

“No.”

Roman frowned, surprised. “Do you _want_ Logan to turn Dark?”

 _That_ gave Janus cause for consideration. He paused, and looked to Logan. He would admit that he liked their conversations, and there was potential for many more if they did not have to schedule in advance and alert Roman to when and where they would be meeting. He would indeed like to see Logan more, and if he were able to convince him to 'flick', he would certainly be able to spend more time with him due to shared residence and proximity. 

However, Logan would hate being ignored and as a DarkSide he would be even less likely to be heard. 

More importantly, Janus liked Logan exactly as he was. 

He shook his head, and added, “No.” for clarity.

“..... That was an awfully long pause...”

“I needed time to give the matter due consideration. I had not actually thought about it before just now.” 

“Why do you keep meeting up with Logan?”

“I enjoy the conversation.” he smiled, and was not able to hide the fact his lips spread wider when he saw how much his answers infuriated Roman, being not as wicked as he had thought. 

Roman longed to play the hero, and protect his friend, which Janus felt was noble enough cause, but it meant that Roman had fixated on him as a villain; an antagonist to his protagonist. Good verses evil, black and white, but things were rarely so simple. It was much harder when the 'villain' was being so reasonable, and perhaps did not even have malicious plots and schemes to thwart. 

Creativity threw up his hands, “How do we even know he is telling the truth when he says he is telling the truth?”

Janus then brought a hand up to his face, and tried not to be too surprised to feel skin rather than the material of his glove. “You'll just have to take my word for it. I can give no proof beyond that.”

With a jolt that caused Virgil to twitch in shock, Patton snapped his head up, “Oh! We could ask him things he'd never want to admit!!”

The half-snake folded his arms, “I pledged to tell the truth. I did not grant you permission to force the truth out of me.”

Roman hunched his shoulders, “Tricksy, even when supposedly 'honest'.”

His eyes narrowed, and Janus curled his lips into snide smile, “Oh... if you really, truly want the truth out of me, I suppose I could summon Remus. He knows a great deal about interrogation techniques to extract information... He would be delighted to instruct you.” he cast his eyes about the room meaningfully, and stopped smiling, “But I do not think it would suit your ideals. Especially given how you all like to harp on about good and righteousness and integrity.”

Janus swayed slightly as he reached for his cup, and Logan caught the action. Janus turned, ever-so-slightly and nodded confirmation. Truth telling remained an effort for him, and he was already tired.

“I propose that we accept that we have been bound into this... situation, and that no-one should force anyone to say what they do not wish to. Agreed?” Logan announced, looking to Patton particularly.

“Why? It is surely a good thing if everyone has to be honest!” Patton said, his voice pitched a little too high, his pose seeming put on.

Janus drew a breath through his nose, and inclined his head curiously. “Very well. Patton, how are you feeling?”

“Very conflicted.” was the immediate response. Patton's eyes widened. “I mean, I'm not fine!”

Logan's eyebrows raised, and he leaned forwards, with concern in his eyes. “We have opportunity now, to discuss it....”

Patton looked to Janus, and then down to the ground. “I don't want to... not with _him_ around to hear.”

Exclusion was not new to him, and he did not have much cause to feel hurt that Patton would chose not to share when he was about given that they were not close and he had just pulled the truth from him. It did not stop Janus feeling even more an interloper that no-on seemed to trust. That perhaps they were right not to trust.

“Very well. But I do hope that later you might like to talk about it.” Logan said.

Patton nodded, and adjusted his sweater round his shoulders, “Hmmm. This might not be as ideal as I thought...” 

Roman snorted, “For you maybe!” eyes turned to the prince, questioning. He continued, his voice smug, “I am an open book. I gladly speak of my feelings and wants and dreams. Janus's curse won't affect me!”

Janus rolled his eyes.

From deep under the blanket, Virgil peered out at Roman. “But.. what about the acting?”

Colour drained from Roman's face, as he recalled that when he acted, he was creating fictions and fabrications. He turned to Janus.

“Fiend!” Ah. Learning how Roman truly saw him should not have been surprise, but it stung to hear the word regardless.

“Undo it. Release me from the curse!”

Janus tipped his head to the side, and gestured to Virgil and Patton, both sullen as result of being forced to be honest.

“Everyone is under the same restrictions, and each has their own pressures that make things uncomfortable. Why should you be exempt?”

“I am Creativity, acting is part of who I am. You can't take that away from me!”

Janus sighed. He glanced up, his eyes saddened that Roman could not see the different standards he held them each to.

“You demanded truth from me, when I am Deceit. If it is cruelty to prevent a Side from for-filling their function, then you were cruel first. Why should I have to suffer, while you get to thrive?”

“Because I am better than you!” 

There was pause, as Roman's voice rang out across the room. 

“Conceited.” Logan commented.

Patton looked abashed, “That... that wasn't very nice Roman. It makes me feel... kinda... yucky.”

“Perturbed.” Logan added.

Patton rounded on him, “That doesn't help either!”

“I was merely trying to aid you in expressing yourself by providing additional vocabulary, as I have seen it a challenge for you at times.” Logan adjusted his glasses, as if trying to see why his help was not being appreciated.

“You don't have to be so blunt about it though!”

“You don't have to be so evasive, muddling up what you want to say with jokes and fake smiles!”

Patton flinched, “They are not _all_ fake...” he admitted softly, as Roman, Virgil and Logan all looked to him. 

Sensing that this was a moment that would benefit from his absence, Janus rose to his feet. 

“I shall brew a fresh pot of tea.” he announced as he made his way to the kitchen.

The setup was familiar, a mirrored reflection of the Darkside common space, but he found the way he had to turn the wrong way to reach for the cups strange and unsettling. He brought down more cups, enough for everyone, and set about gathering sugar and biscuits on a tray. Neither he or Logan took sugar in their tea, but he had strong suspicion that Patton might, and he knew Virgil liked to dunk biscuits in his hot drinks, to the point they nearly dissolved.

As Janus arranged a plate of biscuits on the tray as well, he looked over to where the Lights were talking. 

He was surprised at how heated the conversation had turned, and how quickly. He was learning (as he hoped the others were as well), that perhaps there was a lot more lying taking place than anyone realised. Whether omissions of true feelings, or little white lies to soften harsher words, or purposefully pretending that things were fine when they were not... 

He selfishly hoped some good would come of his actions; that he might be better understood and that his function of Deceit was recognised as sometimes useful. 

In front of him, in muttered voices that he made effort _not_ to strain and make out, he heard Roman and Patton debating something heatedly. He took longer steeping the tea than was necessary, to allow the Lights time to speak.

As he finished, he clattered the teapot deliberately against the tray, to signal that he was returning. Predictably, voices hushed as he came back and set down the tea tray.

“I have prepared chamomile tea. It has a soothing effect I thought might be beneficial to calm people's tempers and nerves. Mine especially.”

It was as close to an admission that he remained annoyed that he had been forced into speaking truth as he was able to say aloud. 

Janus started to set out cups, ready to be filled when the tea was ready, and tried not to mind the silence. He looked to Logan for explanation.

“Roman wants to send you home.” he said, frankly. Logan was not one to sugar-coat his words, but even for him his tone was direct to the point of discomfort.

Janus nodded, as he continued to set out the cups. He had guessed as much.

“But Patton wants to let you stay.”

“Not for forever!” Virgil added, in case Janus decided he would take it as invitation to move in.

Janus finished setting up the cups, and looked to Patton. “Interesting, and unexpected. Why?”

“I feel guilty, since it seems you were kinda right... I have been lying. And we stormed into your space and never really apologised and you have ever right to hate us and Logan likes you and I want us all to be friends but you are so very different and its hard.”

Janus blinked. It was as if a dam had burst. Patton gushed his feelings, with such raw emotional intensity it was disconcerting. 

“I do not make it easy...” he offered. 

He could have explained that he preferred to keep people at a distance. That he would rather be defensive and safe, than risk himself in placing his faith in another. If he showed no weakness, it was harder for someone with cruelty in mind to harm him, but at the same time, it meant no-one was permitted to get too close.

Patton would likely have very much appreciated knowing that part of the reason Janus was unfriendly was not anything to do with him or any mistake he had made. A truth spoken here, would do wonders for their developing relationship.

However, Janus was not ready yet to reveal so much about himself, and render himself so open and vulnerable. Not when he had to carefully mind every word, and measure out how much energy he was willing to sacrifice to speak honestly. For sake of self preservation, he kept his silence.

He started to pour, but left the last cup empty. He raised a brow at Roman. “Shall I pour myself a cup, or head on home?”

Patton had pulled over chairs, and Virgil sat on the floor with the blanket over his shoulders, in a rough ring round the teaset. Roman was about to answer, when Logan leaned over and took the teapot from Janus, pouring into the last cup.

“It is not up to him.” he said, his jaw tight. “I invited you, so the choice is up to us. I would like for you to stay.”

Janus accepted the cup, and curled his hands round the sides. He felt the warmth seep into his fingers, and realised that he was colder than he had realised. 

“Thank you.” he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Around the teaset, there was uncomfortable silence as Janus drank tea with the Light Sides. 

Virgil had already reached for a pile of biscuits, balancing them on his knee. A teaspoon clinked over loud as Patton stirred two sugars into his tea, and Roman, reluctantly, sat down next to Patton and picked up a cup. He held it up to his face, and sniffed, skepitcal still of what Janus had brewed.

“Smells like cat pee.” Roman remarked, scrunching up his nose.

Virgil chuckled at the tactlessness, “Sounds like something Remus would say!”

A scowl marred the face of the prince, “take that back!”

Virgil shook his head with wry grin, “No. it's the truth. Else I could not have said it.” he graced Janus with a half smirk. 

There was no mistaking the flash of anger on Roman's face as he was compared to his brother, “Shut up Dark-and-Stormy!”

Frowning, Virgil said, “It's not a bad thing. You might not like to admit it, but you two can be pretty similar. Remus is just as creative as you, and he can be funny sometimes...”

He ran fingers down the seam of the blanket, “I miss his jokes. He has this wickedly dark sense of humour and isn't afraid to laugh about grim topics.” He gave a little smile, remembering, “Hard to be properly panicked about getting buried alive when Remus was chuckling about finally being able to get some peace and quiet six feet under...”

He shifted his attention to Janus, “How's he doing?”

“He is an uninhibited whirlwind of chaotic energy and mischief.”

Virgil chortled, “So pretty much the same then. But... is he happy?”

Janus tried not to mind that Virgil was asking about Remus, but had yet to ask how he himself was doing. Without the small lies that served to sooth over social awkwardnesses, those little tokens of attention that made people feel valued even when they were not the subject of conversation, everything felt too jagged and sharp, and he felt it more acutely than most. He drew his cup to his chest, and tried to draw as much heat from the tea as he could. 

“You could always call him over and ask him yourself...” he said, unable to bring himself to say aloud that while Remus was happy enough, they both missed Virgil's presence in the Darkside. 

As Virgil contemplated it, Roman put his head in his hands, “....and I thought this day could not get any worse....”

Virgil ignored him, and glanced over to Patton, “It's been too long since I saw him... Uh.. can I? Call him over I mean.”

Patton looked at Janus, invited over into the Lightside by Logan. He smiled, a little too wide. 

“Sure kiddo. This is your home as much as ours. You get to invite whoever you want to!”

Diplomatically, Janus did not comment that Virgil felt the need to ask permission, as if he was anxious that his acceptance was dependant on appeasing the other LightSides.

With an almost apologetic look towards Roman, Virgil brought up his hand, and suddenly Remus joined them, rocking back on his feet surprised.

“What the fuckity-fuck-nuggets?!”

Patton put his hands over his ears in shock at the expletives, and Virgil grinned. “'lo Remus. Hope you don't mind I called you in?”

Remus scratched his head, raking nails over his scalp, clearly confused, “Is it a special occasion or something? Is it my birthday... ? Oh! Am I dying??! I hope its something long and lingering! With plenty of pustules!”

“No no, just.. I realised I hadn't really seen much of you since.. “ he trailed off, not able to say that he had left and had not looked back since joining the Lights. “...And we were all having tea, and I thought you might like to join us as well....”

“Oh...Neat.” He looked down and saw there was no cup for him. He grinned, showing too many teeth, “Lemme just go fetch a cup...”

“No!” shouted Janus and Logan together, already guessing that Remus would bring one of his 'special' crockery pieces made with alkali metals, that either exploded or burst into flames on contact with liquid.

Logan quietly passed Remus his cup to save everyone from shattering shards. Remus took it with a wink, “Ah well, worth a shot.”

He took a sniff, “Stinks like cat piss!” he declared, and chugged it down gleefully.

Roman's eyes widened, and he hunched, muttering, “It's not _exactly_ what I said...”

Virgil hid his mirth and munched on a biscuit. Remus perched up on the arm of Janus's chair, crowding into his space and looming tall over everyone.

He looked across at Logan, and beamed. “Oh, but you'll be impressed! I've been doing more experiments on the slime molds! Didya know they don't like light, or salt, or caffeine, so you can make obstacle courses for them! Next I'm gonna try given them electric shocks, and see if I can't train 'em to run away!”  
“I already have a favourite. I call em' Gunk. It's bright yellow, like toxic nuclear refuge! He's a dog vomit slime mold!”

Virgil bit his lip, “Am I going to regret asking what he is talking about?”

“Slime molds! Know-gan told me about 'em! They're great! No brains, but a single giant cell, and they goop and move about the place (but slow, so fuckin' slow!) and they sort of think, but its really weird! And they have 221 different sexes! But maybe up to 700!”

Logan frowned, “I did not tell him that...”

Rubbing his temples, Janus added, “But you did introduce him to the concept, and he did his own own research, and now the...” he thought briefly, and chose a word that was honest, yet apart from the one the lights would use to describe he and Remus's shared space, “ _Other_ common area is damp, and dark, and the walls pulsate alarmingly... It is why I am here, since the conditions might be favourable to slime molds, but not deep discussion....”

Janus thought he saw something akin to envy flash across Roman's face, that Remus was granted space and time to explore his interests, no matter how obscure or inconvenient.

Oblivious (or perhaps even purposefully) Remus continued chatting about the tortures or experiments he was planning for the slime molds (Gunk in particular) and was waving his arms about animatedly, and looked to be at real risk of toppling over in his excitement. 

“Hold up.” Virgil murmured, as Remus swung his legs causing the chair to rock, “He's acting the same as always. Janus, did you leave him out of your stipulation, 'cause he wasn't in the room at the time?”

Janus, in an effort not to topple over in the chair, gave Remus a pointed elbow into his ribs, but Remus would not be dissuaded. He sighed, and leaned to the other side to act as counterbalance. 

“He is under the same obligation of truth everyone else is.” he said, as Remus turned to look at those gathered in the room.

“Wait... Janus has pulled out the 'tell-me-no-lies' trick? You guys must've really pissed him off!”

Janus nodded, glad that at least Remus was able to say more on how he felt about being forced into honesty. He felt additional eyes on him, and saw that Logan was staring, his hands bereft of a cup, and tightly held in his lap.

“Remus has never been shy about speaking of his feelings and wants and thoughts.” Janus explained, deflecting from himself, “He always says whatever is on his mind, and rarely seeks to filter or gentle his words. He is perhaps the most honest of all of us.” Janus knew he was being somewhat cruel in adapting Roman's own phrase of 'feelings and wants and dreams' when talking about Remus, but as Virgil had pointed out, the two were alike and if he could bring Roman to see as much, the brothers might get on a little better.

“Aw shucks, never knew you were such a kiss ass. Heh, Jan-Ass! Or maybe Hiss-Ass, cause of the snake thing?”

Janus lifted his chin and made no attempt to hide his snake side. Unlike other comments he had received about his appearance, Remus had only ever really mentioned them when curious, or when making play on words. As such, Janus tolerated Remus's teasing far more than he would the same words from anyone else. 

He smiled, and placed a finger against the corner of his lips, as if in thought.

“But wait... if he is so open and honest, then why is Remus considered a DarkSide?” Janus asked, putting on an overly quizzical tone.

“Its not his honesty that is his problem...” Patton murmured, his mouth pulled askew in distaste.

“Oh? And what _is_ my problem Papa-Patton?” 

“You're filthy, and foul...” Patton's hand came up to his mouth, as he caught himself from insulting their guest further.

“And frisky and fearsome and fabulous!” Remus added, unruffled. He bared his teeth in wide rictus.

Virgil grinned back, “Funny!”

“Free.” said Janus, with a fond smile.

Considering, Logan added, “Fervent. Farcical. Frowzled.” 

“Now it sound like you are just making words up.” Remus pointed an accusing finger towards Logan.

“I am not!” Logic protested.

Remus tipped his head to the side, and laughed, “No... you wouldn't. Heh, i don't even know what any of those words mean, but I trust you that they are accurate.”

Accurate, not complimentary, Janus noted. Remus did not put much stock in insults, since he drew them more often than most, and he rarely got upset as a result. However, that he also seemed to find it hard to believe that he would be given genuine words of praise. 

Same as how his deceitful nature put him at odds with Virgil, Janus wondered if his own way of speaking, where he would lie and tell Remus how terrible his art was, or how ungrateful he was for his company, had not compounded the issue. 

He was wretched from his thoughts, when Roman loudly proclaimed, “Fustrating.”

“Aw bro-man! Nice to know I can still get under your skin like a little burrowing parasite!” Remus smiled, happy at the rare interaction, despite the harshness of his brother's tone.

The prince glared, “You're nothing but an exuberant excess of expletives. I don't even know why we are humouring your presence. You do nothing for Thomas! You contribution nothing!”

Janus put a hand out instinctively to hold Remus back from doing something rash, but Remus was very still, the grin gone from his face and his expression strangely calm. Then, with a worrying shift in tone, he started to chuckle. It was an ominous sound, and Janus felt himself tense as he tightened his grip on Remus's shirt, attempting to both reassure that Remus was not alone, but also try and keep a hold of the unpredictable Side.

“No no no no no.... “ Remus said, shaking his head, “Surely you don't think that I play no part in the videos? Some of the best jokes of the series are mine!”

Roman snorted haughtily, “You deranged lunatic, you don't 'help'.”

Patton, even though he held his posture open and welcoming, nodded in agreement with Roman. “Sorry Remus, but that cannot be true. Thomas's videos are wholesome!”

Janus coughed politely, reminding everyone that no-one could lie. At least, to the best of their knowledge they could not lie.

Remus, surprisingly, also nodded. “Yeah. Very wholesome. Fun for all the family....” he showed sharp teeth as he grinned, “But you don't have to be explicit to insinuate something crude. For example, you remember the Q and A Session? Roman was getting all annoyed that he wasn't getting asked questions first, 'cause he can be a bit of an attention whore, and in exasperation, he yelled 'mother'. Patton, you then interrupted him from finishing the phrase 'mother fucker', which is just delightfully offensive, even more so the more you think about it, lovely and taboo and visceral...” he shook himself back into focus, “Anyway, Patton stopped Roman by saying 'father' and Logan, thinking it a word association game, finished with 'brother'.”  
“It's funny because you guys don't actually swear, but its clear the word that was almost said. You can't craft jokes like that if you don't consider the darker shades of humour.”

Remus paused, and looked about the room. He jerked his head back, shocked.

“You didn't know that was what I did in the background?”

The lack of reply was telling in itself, and Roman seemed to have curled into himself, as if willing himself smaller. 

Eventually, Patton held out both his hands, palms up, apologetic. “Uh... no... I don't think we did....”

At Janus's side, Remus went very quiet, then burst into loud and grating laughter, “That is hilarious!!!” he howled, and then stopped suddenly a moment later, “also hurtful, than my contributions are been unappreciated, but happily my self worth is a bit more robust than Roman here.”

Virgil sniggered, and then fell silent as Patton looked at him, aghast that he would find such a thing funny. Remus, seeing this, licked his lips, eyes sharp.

“Come on Daddy-oh, lighten up and relax a little. Jerk off if you have to, just don't be a jerk about it.”

That drew a full laugh from Virgil, and Remus gave him a cheerful click of his tongue.

“It's just that... Do you have to be so... base...?” Patton pleaded, his ears bright red from blushing at Remus's foul language and insinuations. 

Remus shrugged, “It _is_ my area of expertise. But 'base' is not the word I'd use. Base implies low-brow, and simple, and has all the connotations of being less 'worthy'”

“Purile.” Logan muttered, seemingly unable to stop himself. 

“But you forget,” Remus continued, “that Shakespeare was plenty crude. The great play-write made dick jokes like they were going out of fashion, and if he could slyly sneak a reference to 'cunt' in his works, you bet your nipple-rings he would!”

Making an indignant squeak Patton looked desperately to Janus for him to reject Remus's bold claims.

Janus shook his head, suppressing a smirk. “He is not lying.” he then, seeing an opportunity, “Roman will confirm.”

Roman, apparently surprised to be called into the conversation, shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. Shakespeare can be a bit risqué at times.”

With triumphant whoop Remus looked to his brother. “Oh Roman! We should get some scripts and run through all the raunchy bits!”

Roman's face fell, “Even if I wanted to... I can't... I cannot act...”

Before anyone could react, Remus was on his feet, mace appearing in his hands and looking very ready to use it. “Who told you you couldn't act?” he growled.

“No no, it's the truth thingy. Acting is a fiction, so till the day is up, Roman can't act.” Patton tried to explain. 

Remus blinked, and then laughed.

“Oh bro, you really are too much. I didn't take you for a method actor, or even a meta-method meathead. Nothing's stopping you.”

“But if I can't lie, how can I be another character?”

Remus sighed, and pulled his hands through his hair, “For my next trick, I shall be playing the part of an intoxicated giraffe on roller-skates.” He then proceeded to careen and stagger about the room, flailing his arms and screaming in what Janus assumed to be Remus's best drunken and terrified giraffe impression.

Remus screeched to a halt, and bowed. “See, you can still act your soppy heart out. As long as you don't actually think you're the character, you can play any part!”

From the huddled blanket which was shaking with mirth at the drunken giraffe demonstration, came applause. Janus joined in, lightly, his hands already feeling sensitive missing his gloves. Logan's claps were louder, and rhythmic as a metronome. After exchanging a look, Patton and Roman also brought their hands together. 

Patton frowned then, on seeing Remus effortlessly act, even when under compulsion of truth. “But Janus said...”

“Janus said--” Janus interrupted, already predicting where this was going, “That it was cruel to prevent a Side from for-filling their function. I never said that the acting was affected, you assumed that yourself.”

It was strange to see Roman suddenly so stiff and serious, his usual manner more flamboyant. He sighed, and gave Janus a apologetic look, “I seem to keep assuming the worse of you... Sorry Janus...”

With a nod that the apology had been accepted, Janus settled in the chair, letting it take his weight.


	4. Chapter 4

As Roman, Janus and the others spoke, Remus had taken advance of the distraction. From the kitchen, where he was rummaging through the shelves and cupboards, Remus looked up. “Is this cookie mix?”

“Ah! Don't eat that!” Patton cried, already starting towards where Remus was peering into the bowl of abandoned baking.

Remus cocked his head to the side, “Why? You been lacing it with samonella?” he smacked his lips.

“No! I mean its not that... but.. I was making that batch when I was kinda keeping an eye on Logan, and I was distracted, and got the salt and sugar mixed up. I was going to quietly throw it out when no-one was looking...”

Remus brought his chin high, as he observed the room, clearly annoyed. When Logan and Janus had met in the Darkside, even Intrusive Thoughts had not been intrusive to such a degree as to watch their every moment together, when they made it clear they wished time to themselves.

Janus willed him not to say anything, the situation already tense.

Remus scanned across, and seemed to settle on Logan. He tilted his head, and then quick as a thought, seemed to change his mind about berating the Lights about privacy. He looked down to the counter, and then to Patton.

“Can I have it then?” he said, gesturing to the bowl. 

“Uh... I guess....”

Remus took up the bowl, and started to make little balls of raw cookie dough and popping them into his mouth, the taste apparently pleasing to him. He came up and sat himself again next to Janus, this time leaning half in his lap.

Janus would have been annoyed, if he did not appreciate the heat Remus was sharing with him. Past his thick layers, he was chilling, the effort required to be truthful sapping at his energy, leaving little to preserve his body temperature. He leaned in, and let Remus both warm and support him. 

Remus munched nosily, and Patton came back, and saw that throughout, Logan had been reserved.

“Hey lo', everything cool?”

Janus felt Remus tense, and turned to see that Logan indeed did not look happy. He thought that it was perhaps the intense eyes behind glasses, and blanching knuckles, that might have dissuaded Remus from speaking out. 

“No.” said Logan, in a flat and quiet voice.

Janus raised a brow, and leaned in, concerned.

Logan continued, “I am furious.”

Patton fussed with the overhanging sleeve of his sweater, and tipped his head, “You don't... sound furious....” he ventured. 

Logna slammed both his hands against his knees and rose to his feet, his voice rising in volume to match.

“That is because I am _trying_ not to let my anger overwhelm me. How dare you!?”

Janus nearly choked on regret. He reached for Logan, afraid that the upset he had caused had ruined their friendship, “Logan I.. I apologise.... I'm so sorry... I...”

“Not you. THEM!”

Logan started to pace, glaring at Roman, Virgil (who pulled backwards) and Patton. His footsteps were brisk, but heavy, as if he was trying to expel his rage through his feet.

“How can you make such demands of Janus?! Never mind what adverse effects it might have to strip away an aspect of a side, did you even consider that _I_ invited Janus here? That you have been not only unwelcoming, but downright insulting! He is my friend, and you hurt him, and I am disgusted and ashamed of you!”

He grabbed at his arms, fingers fisting at the fabric of his shirt, “These messy feelings... all of them clambering and deafening and distracting, and I hate it!”

Janus was about to stand and go to Logan's side, when Patton moved over between them to face Logan. Intentional or not, it betrayed that Patton still did not see him as 'safe'.

“We were just trying to protect you Logan! We love and care for you, and Janus... doesn't seem all that trust-worthy...”

“Have you not been listening to a word I said when I declared that I trusted him?! That it doesn't matter to me if he lies sometimes?” he turned, his eyes narrowed, “Why am I surprised? Nothing I say seem to matter. I particularly have to shout to make myself heard.”

Remus, who had been watching with keen eyes, summoned up a megaphone, and offered it to Logan.

Had it been up to him, Janus would have preferred to avoid enabling Logan to continue venting out against his friends. Speaking such stark truth was risky, and dangerous, and had potential to cut deep. He would have counselled silence, till a time that Logan could vocalise out his thoughts in calm and controlled manner.

He might have even suggested that it might be best to bend the truth slightly, to soften it in attempts to make it more palatable. 

Janus would certainly not have taken up the megaphone, as Logan did, and proceed to spit out his judgements at amplified volume.

Logan first directed his voice at Patton, too close and painful to hear.

“You are self-righteous to the point of incoherence!” he yelled, his finger jabbing towards Morality. Hands lifted hurriedly over ears did little to mute the megaphone. “How can we ever figure anything out when everything becomes an emotionally-loaded quandary with no quantifiable solution!?”

Rounding on Roman, Logan continued, “Arrogant and grandiose, juxtaposed with insecurity. Make up your damned mind!” he scowled, “I hate that I have to continually be the one to cut down your ideas because you refuse to factor in reality!”

Both Roman and Remus tried to speak out a retort, but Logan's voice drowned out their words as he glared down at Virgil, who had drawn defensively away from the outburst.

“If you had your way, Thomas would never leave the house, or try anything! You'd stall Thomas through fear, paralyse him through paran--,” Logan caught himself, just as Remus was about to interject, this time lifting his mace in case he was talked over again. He snapped his mouth shut, and then finished, “being overly cautious.”

He looked like he had more he wanted to shout, but Janus saw the group shook to hear what Logan had already effused in anger. Logan had the occasional flare of fury, but usually only when pushed too far. The enraged tirade spoke of just how much Logan had been keeping bottled up, not letting himself get cross enough to share. 

Janus stood up, and walked round Patton. With slow, telegraphed movements, he laid a hand on the top of the megaphone, pushing it down. Logan, breathing heavy, nodded. That was enough.

“The timing might not have been ideal.. and perhaps you were a little more direct and confrontational than you would otherwise be, but I can assure you, they have heard you.” he looked over, his expression stern, warning against anyone trying to get Logan to apologise for finally speaking his mind, “Now they just have to listen.”

Patton hugged himself, face pulled tight in concern. He did not even need to speak, to show that he was devastated by Logan's appraisal; his emotions writ clear on his face, and not masked by a phoney smile. “Ah... Logan... I get you were angry...”

“Furious.” Logan corrected coldly.

“Ah.. but.... You didn't need to be so... uh... ” 

“Honest?” Janus suggested, his teeth clenched. 

Patton winced, and then gave slight nod that maybe, just maybe, the truth could hurt as much as a lie.

Remus raised his head, and hopped over to claim back his megaphone. He turned it over in his hands, “But maybe Logan needed to be. You lights,” he glanced about, and included Virgil in the grouping, “really don't seem to listen. I've seen it myself, when you all charged in determined that Janus was a baddie. It took ages to convince you otherwise! How many times has Logan defended Janus? I'll bet urns and ashes that he's done it again since then. And yet...not only will you not take his word for it, you also managed to push Janus off to the point he bound himself to the truth to try and prove himself to you. Yeah, he then inflicted what he would go through against all of you in retaliation, but do any of you realise what this day will cost him?”

He was about to speak further, when Janus gave a deliberate tap of his foot, silently begging Remus that he might be allowed to keep some of his secrets and dignity. 

He was cold, so much so it was getting hard to think clearly, and his tongue felt heavy and thick. He swayed on his feet, but willing himself to stand tall, as eyes turned to him.

Remus saw his discomfort, and spoke, redirecting attention back to him. “Thing is.. he's sometimes insincere, and sarcastic, and sneaky, and you can't always tell what he really means.... but at the end of day, Janus does what he does for the good of Thomas. That's the truth of the matter.”

Remus gave Janus an affectionate nudge, not minding that Janus was avoiding his eyes, unable to find words to respond with.

He looked back to the group, with a dangerous glint in his eyes. “So... you'd better find a lesson to learn from all this mess, 'cause if you don't I'll happily impart some knowledge with the spiky end of my mornin'star...”

Even without the truth being mandatory, it was hard to doubt the sincerity of his words. 

The room filled with an awkward lull, as Logan folded his arms, still irritated but no longer angry. 

He made no move to sooth over his harsh words, and did not offer apology. 

The silence was quickly growing beyond uncomfortable into charged, like the air before a storm.

“I think,” Logan said quietly, “that I would like to conclude my meeting with Janus. Alone.”

With a jump that startled both Virgil and Roman, Remus moved to link arms with his brother. “Com'on! We have some Shakespeare to make even more smutty!!” 

Roman gave a half smile, and allowed himself to be pulled away, not entirely reluctantly. 

Shifting to his feet, and brushing crumbs from his clothes, Virgil nodded towards Logan, and then, looked at Janus. He gripped the edges of the blanket. “Thanks.” he muttered, and with rare consideration for the snake-side, left before Janus had to formulate a reply. 

Janus was grateful. He did not think he had it in him to acknowledge aloud that this might have been the most civil they had been to each other since Virgil had left. The hurt that Virgil had chosen the Lights over him made it hard to speak with words not tinged with bitterness for what they had once had.

He made note to 'forget' to claim back the blanket, till long after his influence had ebbed from the fabric. Then, if Virgil seems like he was still using it, offer it as a gift. He did not have the strength to keep it charged as a barrier against truths too big to heed and still keep your head, but he'd seen the way Virgil huddled and hunched, and wondered if deep pressure might not be of benefit.

Only Patton was left, and was wringing his hands. He looked wrought, and while not as worn as Janus felt, a little more the worse for wear.

“Janus, how much do you know? About me.. about.. what I hide...”

Janus weighed up what he had left in reserves, and what Patton needed. 

“Not everything. But, as you might have guessed, I have some skill in detecting deception. I can tell you have been lying about how you are feeling, and I have noted that it is happening more frequently.”

“I don't mean to! It's just... everyone else has so much going on, I don't want to add to their worries...”

“The charade of pretending that you are fine might serve to make things seem perfectly functional, but I doubt it helpful in the long run.”

Patton sighed, and nodded. “Guess I had not realised how much I was hiding... how much I was lying to everyone... and myself...”

Patton was vulnerable, and lost, and it was with great effort Janus stopped himself from using his strained state of mind to suggest that lies were not necessarily a bad thing. It would have been advantageous to have Patton accept that some lies were useful. In particular, Patton's deception came from a place of kindness and caring, and putting the needs of others above his own, and it would be remarkably easy to frame as a positive that would be more palatable to him.

However, he found he could not do Patton such a disservice as adding to Morality's internal conflict.

“Well...” Janus began, softening his expression and voice, “You know now. That is the main thing. You can keep look out, now that you are aware.” He looked about the common area, covered in framed group photos of Patton, Logan, Roman, and even Virgil in the more recent ones, and forced a smile, “You have people around you who care for you, same as you do for them. Let them in, so that they can care better.”

Patton followed Janus's gaze to the photographs, and nodded sagely. “Yeah...” he turned back, his eyes shining but wearing a gentle smile. 

“Thanks kiddo.” he said, as he left.

Janus waited till he was out of ear-shot and raised a brow towards Logan. “Kiddo?”

“He calls all the Sides that.”

Janus frowned, “I'm not sure I like it as a nickname.”

Logan leaned in, and whispered conspiratorially, “Me neither, but it makes him happy.”

With a soft laugh, Janus allowed himself to relax, his shoulder slumped low and his head tipping forwards. He felt safe enough in Logan's company to drop his own pretence of being fine. 

“You are tired.” Logan stated, avoiding asking Janus how he was so that Janus did not have to tell the truth.

Janus nodded.

“Can I do anything to help?”

“Honestly, I just want to go and rest.”

Logan gave a curt dip of his head. “In that case, I'll bid you good day.”

Janus nodded again, grateful, and started to head back towards the Darkside, Logan watching him go. He was too tired to sink out and teleport himself, and so he took small steps and used the wall for balance. He could feel Logan's eyes on him, and then, heard him approach. He sighed, too tired to even say that he found asking for help difficult, never-mind actually requesting assistance. 

As it turned out, he did not have to. Logan on seeing him struggling, a little nervously, extended an arm to Janus. 

Janus swallowed, unsure himself, before tucking a hand in the crook of the offered elbow and letting Logan take some of his weight. 

Even though he trusted Logan not to suddenly pull away and cause him to fall, even though he had already shown so much of himself and his weaknesses, Janus still held back from fully allowing Logan to support him. He could not, even in this moment of need, let himself be so dependant on another.

It slowed their pace, and while he was not rushed at all by Logan, Janus started to feel the silence drag at him.

“Tell me more about slime molds, that I might know better what is currently co-habiting the common area.”

Logan's eyes gleamed bright, and he launched into detailed explanation of the bizarre organism. That they were not an animal or plant, or fungus, but something that had fallen through the cracks of traditional taxonomical classification, landing with other oddments and outliers in the category of 'Protista'. That they had several life stages, and while some could exist as a single macroscopic cell, they could amass together not only to reproduce but also to pull their resources to have better chance at survival when food sources were in short supply. That they could be dormant for years, dried up and seemingly inert, yet able to revitalise when conditions turned more favourable. That they used mucus left in their wake as a rudimentary 'memory system' to tell when they had already been, and so prioritise exploring new territory in search of food.

Janus let the words wash over him, unable to focus much on what what said but enjoying Logan's voice regardless. Logan spoke quickly when enthused, pausing only to punctuate his sentences which a choice multisyllabic descriptor. He delighted in the linguistic quality of certain words, and while Janus did not always know the exact meaning of every utterance (a confession you'd have to pull from his cold gloved hands), he could parse out from context the general idea. 

He delved deep into the topic, and showed genuine pleasure in sharing his knowledge, even if Janus was in no fit state to recall most of it. 

Others might claim Logan showed little in the way of emotion, but this, this was impassioned to such a degree that it easily rivalled Roman's spontaneous bouts of poetry or Patton's heart-felt affirmations.

It made the journey deep into the Darkside easier, and soon Janus was guiding them down a curved corridor lined with various doors where the other aspects and Sides resided, some with names scratched out and replaced, some with multiple words and some derelict. Some names were self explanatory, others less so. Some were barred, and sealed shut with heavy padlocks and latches and iron bars. Janus noted Logan looking over the names written, but wisely making no comment as they walked towards one of Janus's personal rooms. Not Deception; he did not think he could tolerate such a place at the time when he was bound to the truth, but to one of his alternate dwellings; Self-Care.

Remus had helped, under very specific and direct instruction (with more than a few corrections needed), to construct and conjure the room. 

He hesitated, only himself and Remus had even seen inside, and he debated revealing yet more to Logan. Logic had likely already gleamed much from the day's events, and Janus's instinct was to keep what he could guarded and secret, so it could not use used against him. 

However, he saw Logan's eyes, curious, but with no expectation or pressure, and in an uncharacteristic act of trust, decided that he would let Logan see.


	5. Chapter 5

Janus used his palm to push open the door, and reveal a serene spa-like area, open and bright. Clean, and clear of clutter, there was a wide stone lounger made from smooth cloudy quartz under a heat lamp, and a table set out with both fresh water and tea-making facilities. Tiled in small squares of gold and cream, was a shallow pool he used to soak in when his scales were shedding, with various unscented salts at the side. There was little in the way of decoration, or soft furnishings, and while the ambient temperature was warm, the room was not 'cozy'. About them, echoes reverberated; the soft lap of water and the hum of the heatlamps. 

Janus hung his hat, and capelet on the single hook, and turned to Logan. 

“This place is not really designed for company, but I can offer you some refreshments?” 

Janus was not used to the way his voice echoed in the room, it normally being a sanctuary of solitude and silence. 

Lingering at the doorway, Logan did not move to enter. “That depends. Do you want me to stay, or would you rather I left you in peace?”

Janus started to reply, but found his thoughts and words jumbled and his tongue uncooperative. He breathed, torn between lying under his sunlamp to recover, and enjoying Logan's company a little longer. The pressure of pledging honesty weighted heavily upon him.

“I do not know...” he answered, finally, truthfully, unable to decide one way or the other. 

Logan did not push for clarification. Instead, he walked inside and over to the table and set about making tea for them both. Janus was about to protest, when Logan pointed to the lounger. 

“You are tired.” he stated, “And I would like to try and make amends for the mess of our meeting today. Let me make you tea.”

Unwilling to argue, Janus sat, and watched, as Logan carefully set about boiling a kettle and setting out the teapot. He conjured a small digital scale, and carefully measured out the loose leaf tea. Janus could pick up the ghost of his own mannerisms in the way Logan moved, and came to realise that Logan had been observing his tea-making practices, and had adapted them as his own. 

Furthermore, till Janus had expressed his preference for loose leaf tea, Logan had always used teabags, and had had no call to use strainer or guess how much loose tea tea would be required. Without experience, he now used scales to accurately weight out the quantities. 

Janus's chest felt tight at the thought of Logan being so attentive to the task on his behalf, but he quickly set the feeling aside for later examination.

The kettle finished boiling, and Logan filled the teapot with hot water and let it steep, making note of the time to better judge how long to brew the leaves. He paused, when he saw there was only one cup. 

Self Care was not selfish, but it did not naturally include others. Especially Janus's preferred mode of self-care.

Janus could have conjured a cup for Logan (perhaps not a very good one, given how worn he was), but there was already a strange sense of invasion in having a guest in his private sanctum. 

Without comment, Logan poured himself water instead. He looked up to where Janus was sitting.

“I would like to say sorry on behalf of my compatriots. They made things... difficult today.”

Janus offered a dry chuckle, “We should not set a standard for baring blame for the actions of our friends. Else, I shall have to apologise for Remus almost continually.”

Pouring the tea into a cup and giving it to Janus, Logan smiled gently.

“Still, today was not the meeting I had envisioned... I hope it has not been too arduous for you.”

A statement, not a question, and Janus was once again thankful that Logan was clever enough to sidestep the need to answer accurately. He hugged the cup to his chest, desperately drawing the heat from the brew.

It was not enough, and Janus felt his body betray him and start to shiver. Miserably, he clenched his jaw to prevent his teeth chattering, and looked to Logic, daring him to pity his diminished state.

Logan tilted his head curiously as he saw Janus shudder and shake.

“You are chilled, dangerously so if you are shivering.” Logan stated, standing and taking a step forward. “It would be unwise to drink the tea in that case... not until your temperature has been raised.”

He took the tea from Janus, and set it upon the floor. 

Then he paused, “... It is common practice to share body heat to warm up one who has become too cold... Would you...? I mean may I---?” he coughed, embarrassed at fumbling with his words. “I can provide additional heat source, if you will permit it.”

Every instinct within Janus screeched that he ought to push Logan out the door, perhaps with a rude word or two to dissuade him from lingering, and sulk in peace. He did not want to be seen to be so... weak.

Yet, his traitorous truthful tongue could not deny that the idea had appeal. Not just for physical comfort, and to be warmed faster than he would otherwise be, but also having _Logan_ closer. Close. 

On the lounger, Janus lay down and turned his back to Logan, and he heard the soft sound of disappointment echo through the space. 

Janus then, heart hammering in his chest, shuffled to the edge and made space for another.

Slow, careful footsteps came closer, granting time for Janus to change his mind or correct should the gesture have been misinterpreted. A heartbeat, then another, and then Janus felt Logan settle on the lounger behind him, facing the same direction, Janus's back to Logan's chest.

He could feel the warmth start to radiate, just as he was certain Logan would be able to feel the unnatural cold-blooded chill wrapped in layers of black and yellow. 

He waited for Logan to come to his senses, when he realised he lay with a monster, a snake, a liar. Sure enough, before long Logan started to move, and Janus breathed a sigh of relief that the terrifying moment of intimacy had passed. He was not prepared for Logan to rearrange himself to get more comfortable, as he lay an arm over Janus's shoulders, gently drawing him closer.

Janus stiffened as he was coaxed back from the edge, and held himself tight and tense. The hand at his shoulder stroked up and down soothingly, and the heat was a temptation too much to resist. Janus felt himself sway into Logan's warm body, and his truth-beholden tongue utter a sound of contentment.

It was painfully honest, and Janus wished he could bite it back into his mouth, even as the echo faded.

Behind him, breath against his neck, Logan whispered, “I admit that this is not an entirely selfless act. I have hypothesised... how it might feel to hold you....”

Janus's steady breathing stuttered, and he flicked out his tongue automatically, seeking the lie that he knew was impossible. 

If Logan's words had been false, it would have been easier to handle, more simple to manage. The truth of them opened a whole host of complications, which Janus normally would prefer not to invite into his life.

Janus could have stayed silent, and let Logan's response be, with no need for action or change to their dynamic. Logan was smart enough to take the hint that Janus had no desire to reciprocate 'feelings', should he ignore Logan's careful confession.

It was even worded as such that Janus could have convinced himself that it was but a curiosity, an intrigue to be investigated, and that nothing would come of it. He might have even allowed that Logan had thought he might have deeper feelings for him, but on closer examination and a trial of proximity, found that the idea of a match was not viable. 

These were options that would preserve their friendship, and not allow Logan to pry further through Janus's mental fortifications. 

However, Janus found himself driven by a rare need to learn the truth of the matter. Before he could convince himself to delay, he asked quietly, “And how does it feel?” 

Janus could feel the brief chuckle through Logan's chest.

“It feels nice.”

Some tension that Janus had not known held such grip on him, suddenly eased, and he let himself relax fully against Logan's chest.

He nodded agreement.

They were silent, together, as Janus started to feel the chill lift from him, held warm.

It was pleasant, perhaps even more.

A pity then, that it would not, could not last.

Though he was under no obligation to speak truths when he could stay silent, Janus felt a pressure upon him to admit to Logan what he was, at his core. He owed Logan that much, at the very least.

“I am... not good.” he said, his voice barely audible, “I will never be. You have seen today how spiteful and petty I can be. I am defensive, vindictive, and scheming.”

Janus drew breath, and clenched his teeth, “I am not a light side, and never will be. I am no good for you.”

He twisted round, that he could make eye contact, that he could see Logan's face one last time before he broke apart for Logan's sake what they had made together, “You... you would be better off not getting too close to me.”

It was his gift to Logan, a release from the dream of what might have been, tampered down with the realities of what was, but with Deceit at the heavy anchor and not Logic for a change.

Janus did not expect Logan to pull closer, and did not anticipate a finger pressed to his lips (he had to fight back the urge to snap his jaws in reflex).

“Falsehood.”

Janus jerked back, and scowled.

“I have kept my pledge to be truthful!” he snarled, choosing words that would help him resist the urge to hiss in protest.

“Indeed. But as we have discovered, your lies do not necessary reflect absence of absolute truth, but rather what you perceive to be the case, thus, I would theorise that your truths likewise conform to your expectations, rather than the actual fact of the matter.”

Janus frowned, confused. His blood was cold still, and his thinking slowed, compounded by how tired he felt. “Meaning?”

“You think you are right, but in fact, in this, you speak falsely. Might I offer a counter point to test and hopefully prove my theory?”

Janus was quiet. He knew it was easy to misconstrue the truth, he relied on it on occasion, but to learn that he was wrong was disconcerting.

Logan, on hearing no objection, pressed on, “You regard me as intelligent, yes?”

“....Yes.” Janus had to bite down on adding that he thought Logan was brilliant, fascinating and delightful company. 

“And so, you will hopefully concede that my opinions have merit, derived through observation and careful reflection.”

“......Yes.....” 

“So, when I declare that I like you, it must be because I do not lend credence to the paltry stereotypes that have been ascribed to the so-called 'dark sides'. That I in fact do not see you as evil or malicious or wicked.”

Logan gave a small smile, almost smug, “So, it follows, _logically_ , that if I wish to spend time with you, it is because I do in fact believe that you make me happy, and that I find myself more for-filled with you as part of my life than have you absent.”

Janus could not articulate refute.

“I put it to you, that if seeing you on occasion is advantageous to my mood, and I hope yours, that maybe I might like to try seeing you more regularly, as I believe it would be a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

He stared, and caught how Logan's pulse was quickened, and his cheeks tinged red. He half closed his eyes, partly due to exhaustion, but also because Janus was scared at what he saw. 

He was not practised in romantic parlance and even less so in what one was supposed to _do_ in such situation. He kept people at arms length for a reason (even had extra arms to aid him in keeping distance), and this was unexpected and unplanned development.

Not unwanted though, he realised.

“Are you asking to go out with me?” the words felt leaden, and inelegant, both in their phrasing and in their naked honesty.

Logan's hand on his shoulder squeezed briefly.

“I do not want to leave the room at this exact moment, but I think that is the correct vernacular term for starting a more intimate relationship than just friends. Janus, would you like to---”

Janus snapped his fist closed, reflexive against hearing something he would rather keep silent. Logan's eyes went wide as his own hand jerked and clasped against his mouth.

Almost immediately (but not soon enough to stop himself) Janus release his grip, and shifted backwards, apologetic. 

Logan, his eyes softening, did not remove his hand, but instead kept it across his mouth. Janus was reminded then that Logan had granted permission for Janus to silence him if he ever needed to, back when they were first meeting.

It was a touching gesture, that Logan would quiet himself to allow Janus time and space to think, and to speak.

He took a long time turning the words over in his mind before committing them to speech.

“I am scared.”

The admission felt like he was opening himself up for attack, exposing the tenderest parts of himself to be crushed. However, he trusted Logan, more than he ought to, more than he trusted himself.

“I am scared to change our dynamic, which as you rightly said has been bringing me happiness. I am scared, because there is so much potential for hurt and pain if things do not work out... and I am scared, because I like you, and so I do not want to let you risk your reputation by allowing your association with myself. It will marr your standing, and I worry what your friends will think of you if we form a partnership. They distrust me and doubt my intentions enough as it is.” 

Janus did not need to see Logan's mouth, still covered by a hand, to know when Logic started to smile. His eyes creased slightly, and the colour of his iris's seemed warmer. He let his fingers drop from his lips, and gave Janus a fond look.

“You have yet to say that you do not want to.”  
“This relationship, whatever we chose to make it, is ours. The others can have their opinions, but their have no say in what we each decide to do. It might work out, it might not, but conjecture cannot accurately predict what will happen with so many variables and factors to consider.”

Logan leaned in, and rested his forehead against Janus's, removing the need for eye-contact.

“I would like to learn how to be your boyfriend.”

Janus had seen enough movies and TV show climaxes. He knew he was supposed to say something deep and poignant and heartfelt. 

He was tired though, and worn down to the bone. The day had been draining, and he found it hard to think, hard to trust in his thoughts and decisions.

With the last of his energy, he let himself speak the truth.

“I need time to consider.”

Logan nodded, a little disappointed at not getting immediate response, but understanding. He pulled back. Slowly, so that it would not be taken as gesture of offence.

“Would you like me to leave?” he asked instead of pressing.

“No...” Janus murmured, his voice slurring with exhaustion.

“Then I shall stay, till you are sufficiently warmed up.”

A 'thank you; might have been more appropriate, but Janus's tongue was instinctive and unfiltered and honest.

“Good.” he said.

Janus shuffled back round, facing the same direction as Logan, so that he could hide his face from view. He reached and pulled Logan's hand to his shoulder.

Basked in light and heat and with Logan's body curled at his back, Janus made low contented noises as he slumped against the warming stone. He could feel the lure of sleep beacon, but he fought to stay awake (if not exactly alert) and enjoy the moment.

Behind him, he felt Logan, warm and solid, but occasionally shifting. Stone was not the most comfortable of surfaces to relax upon for most, and the bright light of the heatlamp inhibited sleep.

Logan lingered however, as Janus's breathing grew deep and steady. Janus stirred slightly when Logan carefully extracted himself, satisfied that Janus's core temperature was adequately supported by the stone and heat-lamp combination. 

It was not long after Logan had quietly shown himself out, that Janus let himself slip asleep.


End file.
